Learning to respond with respect and understanding to others is the primary objective of this book.

The main thesis of this book is that words have power. They have power to nourish – to add substantially to the way people feel about themselves. They also have power to hurt – to diminish another’s feelings about self. The words we use to each other can bring us closer together or drive us further apart.

The materials in the book provide readers with opportunities to examine and reflect on the relationship between human interactions and the development of positive human relationships, specifically how conversations work to enable positive relationships or diminish them.

These include being able to “tune in” to what the other person is saying, freeing oneself from the need to judge, being respectful, and having a clear and non-defensive idea of what is coming out of one’s mouth.

The materials in the book also provide a self-instructional program to develop one’s skills in using human interactions that build more positive relationships.

Preface

Acknowledgements

Introduction

What’s the good of it? (It’s not about the cheese)

How the book is organized

Part One: The Essential Components of Effective Human Interactions

Chapter 1: Listening: “tuning in”

Key conditions in active listening

Developing active listening skills

Chapter 2: Responding

The overarching condition of respect

Selecting appropriate responses

Paraphrasing

End notes

One final word

Chapter 3: The art of the question

Questions that should be avoided

More productive questions

Turning questions into statements of inquiry

The well-orchestrated discussion

Conclusion

Chapter 4: Once more with feeling

Conclusion

Chapter 5: Caveats: When the divide is too great

Part Two

Chapter 6: Introduction to the skill development materials

Chapter 7: Introduction to facilitative interactions: Task 1

Studying the conversations

Thinking about conversations #1

Thinking about conversation #2

Thinking about conversation #3

Thinking about conversation #4

Reflecting on interpersonal facilitative responding

Conclusion

Figure 1: Analyzing Responses in Human Discourse

Chapter 8: Practice in choosing appropriate responses

Practice task

Self-evaluation of your responses

Conclusion

Chapter 9: Practice in attending and responding with respect (encore)

Task

Self-evaluation of your responses

Conclusion

Chapter 10: Creating your own scenario

Self-evaluation of your conversation

Conclusion

Chapter 11: One-on one practice in attending and responding with respect (A)

Pre-conditions

Task

Conclusion

Chapter 12: One-on-one practice in attending and responding with respect (B)

Points to remember in interpersonal discussions

Pre-conditions

Task

Conclusion

Chapter 13: Practice in attending and responding (Encore)

Conclusion

Chapter 14: Using effective interpersonal skills in real situations

Chapter 15: Last Words

Just one more thing

Bibliography