Introduction
I. The Yearning to Be Understood
1. ”Did You Hear What I Said?”: Why Listening Is So Important
2. “Thanks for Listening“: How Listening Shapes Us and Connects Us to Each Other
3. “Why Don't People Listen?“: How Communication Breaks Down
II. The Real Reasons People Don't Listen
4. “When Is It My Turn?”?The Heart of Listening: The Struggle to Suspend Our Own Needs
5. “You Hear Only What You Want to Hear“: How Hidden Assumptions Prejudice Listening
6. “Why Do You Always Overreact?!“: How Emotionality Makes Us Defensive
III. Getting Through to Each Other
7. “Take Your Time?I'm Listening“: How to Let Go of Your Own Needs and Listen
8. “I Never Knew You Felt That Way“: Empathy Begins with Openness
9. “I Can See This Is Really Upsetting You“: How to Defuse Emotional Reactivity
IV. Listening in Context
10. “We Never Talk Anymore“: Listening Between Intimate Partners
11. “Nobody around Here Ever Listens to Me!“: How to Listen and Be Heard within the Family
12. From “Do I Have To?“ to “That's Not Fair!“: Listening to Children and Teenagers
13. “I Knew You'd Understand“: Being Able to Hear Friends and Colleagues
Epilogue