Born under a bad sign? Of course you were, we all were. In this case Aries the Ram, the zodiac's mindless headbanger. Everyone knows their bright starry self, but the Darkside Zodiac reveals what you are like on the bad days. Not that you care much, being Aries; if the rest of the zodiac can't stand the heat, they should get out of the kitchen, you whoop, as unafraid of cliche as you are of mindless confrontation.

What can you expect in this short, yet vitriol-packed e-volume? Prepare to break bad. Here’s the checklist (partial - you think we give this stuff away?)

* Bitch factor? You got it.

Likewise

* Annoying habits

* Deadly sin of choice

* Your love life. Hah.

* Your criminal career

* Your road rage

Plus clever charts showing just how incompatible you are with everybody else in every conceivable aspect of life. Of course it’s not your fault. It never is. Find out which planet/s is/are responsible for your cosmic awfulness, and blame it/them. And you get to find out who famously shares your sector of the darkness, just so you have a role model if you begin to stray towards the light.

Until now only available to the discerning in tree-based form, the darkside has gone e-side so you can read all about your dark self without having to lift a finger to turn the page. Buy one for yourself (and wallow in delicious shame) or, even better, for your friends/enemies/frenemies/office nemesis and send it to them anonymously. That would be very darkside.

Born under a bad sign? Of course you were, we all were. In this case Aries the Ram, the zodiac's mindless headbanger. Everyone knows their bright starry self, but the Darkside Zodiac reveals what you are like on the bad days. Not that you care much, being Aries; if the rest of the zodiac can't stand the heat, they should get out of the kitchen, you whoop, as unafraid of cliche as you are of mindless confrontation.

What can you expect in this short, yet vitriol-packed e-volume? Prepare to break bad. Here’s the checklist (partial - you think we give this stuff away?)

* Bitch factor? You got it.

Likewise

* Annoying habits

* Deadly sin of choice

* Your love life. Hah.

* Your criminal career

* Your road rage

Plus clever charts showing just how incompatible you are with everybody else in every conceivable aspect of life. Of course it’s not your fault. It never is. Find out which planet/s is/are responsible for your cosmic awfulness, and blame it/them. And you get to find out who famously shares your sector of the darkness, just so you have a role model if you begin to stray towards the light.

Until now only available to the discerning in tree-based form, the darkside has gone e-side so you can read all about your dark self without having to lift a finger to turn the page. Buy one for yourself (and wallow in delicious shame) or, even better, for your friends/enemies/frenemies/office nemesis and send it to them anonymously. That would be very darkside.